Hey, babe! Or I guess I should say … ex-babe? I saw you walking down the street holding hands with another girl.
There’s no way you could’ve moved on already – it’s only been one week since I dumped your ass! The only possible explanation I can think of is that you’ve forgotten what it looks like to fuck me.
So let me use my new boyfriend to jog your memory.
Once you’ve remembered how out of your league I was, you’ll go back to being miserable, and start accepting that you’re going to die alone – after all, there is no way you could be happy with another woman when you know you could’ve had THIS.
